Expectations

Remember how I said yesterday that I didn’t want to post anything? Ah, those fond, fond, sepia-toned memories…

So yeah, today.

Today? I really don’t feel like writing anything.

So instead of venting my spleen on the interwebs for all the universe to see (which is foolish and lame and doesn’t accomplish anything positive), let’s talk about what I’m doing now that Maine is on a stay at home order and the governor has cancelled April, shall we?

Part of me wanted to join in with the thousands of people who are sitting down to write their novel, finally learn guitar, organize their house, or really get into collecting molds and spores. It sounds like a lot of fun (except for the molds and spores but different strokes for different folks). However, I also know that life has a way of knocking me sideways when I start getting too focused on something to the detriment of other things.

What’s been really interesting is that business has been keeping me busier than usual. Where I normally have some breathing room in my daily schedule, it’s been gone the last week or so. Which is good, because… well, I enjoy eating as much as the next guy.

I’ve also been podcasting on a more regular basis, which means that I’ve been editing podcasts on a more regular basis. Even though the show has “idiocy” in the title, I actually think we’ve been doing well making sure the audio quality is high and also giving people some interesting and funny content to listen to. Oh, and we’ve also been trying to keep them shorter as well. Doesn’t mean that our wives have listened to any of them yet, but still.

The reason I haven’t made a dive into one of those all-consuming projects is really the expectations associated with it. I’m going to bet a fair number of people who have publicly stated their new mission in life will be watching Netflix in their sweats on the regular inside a week – and that’s fine. For those who actually do follow through and reach their goal, that’s fine too and I’d congratulate them.

Honestly, I don’t think my mental health could bear up under the expectations of taking on some large project while dealing with the meager helping of daily news I take in to stay relatively informed of the world outside my house. People curse the term “the new normal”, but I don’t think it necessarily applies to our outside world – it’s the inner world.

Regardless of how stout your defenses are, I think everyone is operating with a new baseline for stress and anxiety. Maybe I’m extrapolating my own experience, but I’ve seen enough pet photos and pointless chain-letter-lists going around on social media to feel that folks are coping however they can. And that’s fine. Trying to take care of yourself, your family, wonder about your financial stability, and rationing toilet paper squares per wipe is a lot of background processes for the brain to have going at once.

Anyways, I have my new list to peck away at and a few things that might be fun to toy with, but don’t be looking for a new novel or scrapbook coming from yours truly when this whole thing gets done. If anything, I might be singing that “first time in forever” song from Frozen with stage seven bedhead, swinging from a lamp post.

And if that is me, do me a favor? Don’t look away. Throw a buck in the hat, would ya? I’m going to be tipping my barber big time for slashing through these cowlicks…